This post is my story from She Speaks 2011. Since writing this there have been many changes in my life, but I still know what God spoke in those few days remains true. He has equipped me and called me into ministry and I am currently pursuing a masters degree in Ministry Education to further what He has placed on my heart.
Here is my 2011 She Speaks story...
I remember sitting at the laptop back in February and seeing the email come into my inbox. "She Speaks Registration is Open." That day something inside my heart leaped and I knew it was time to go back.
My first experience at She Speaks was three years ago. As a new MOPS Coordinator I was so excited to get to a conference that might give me a little inkling of how in the world to lead a group of women. I set out on a new adventure that year. It was the first time I was doing things alone, without my husband, without friends, without family. Setting out on this adventure, going to a place I knew no one and no one knew me. I came back from that first experience with one very important principal taught by Melanie Chitwood that I have never forgotten and strive to live out in every decision I make.
Whenever you add something on, you always take something away to stay in balance.
At the time that was life changing for me. I was just stepping into Coordinator with my husband's blessing and in the past three years since learning this principal, it has guided me to live out my priorities and learn to submit to his leadership.
This time I was in a better place as I stepped into the unknown: I had met friends via Facebook and the Internet. I felt like I was not going in knowing no one. I felt pretty confident until the enemy pounced that first night. I was excited to meet up with some friends that had all met via Facebook these months prior to the conference and as I was headed down to dinner to meet up with them I ended up on the elevator with another woman from the conference. She asked me if I was there for She Speaks and I said yes that I was going to dinner and sure enough she was headed to the dinner too. But something seemed off. Here I was in my travel clothes, my flip flops and lugging my big camera. She was dressed in a suit, very professional. As I rounded the corner to where she told me dinner was and I entered the room I knew I was in the wrong place. Editors, business women, professionals. I turned around and made a quick exit, I knew I was not in the right place. This was not my dinner friends!
The uneasiness settled when I did find the right group of women and we began to chat over dinner. The tension broke first when dear Maurissa asked me if I was from the south. I wonder how she could tell (insert big southern drawl!).
Before the conference it was all over Facebook to be praying for that one thing God wants you to see, that one thing He wants you to take home from this conference.
For me it was the confirmation of a calling and that I am going in the right direction.
It did not hit me right away. But as soon as I saw my name on the piece of paper that said "I AM." I knew God was tapping me on the shoulder.
I AM
The name that He revealed to Moses when He called him from out of the desert to go and set His people free.
I AM
The name that He told Moses when Moses told God, "Please, LORD, I have never been eloquent-either in the past or recently or since You have been speaking to Your servant-because I am slow and hesitant in speech" (Exodus 4:10 HCSB).
I AM
The name He revealed to me when I first shared my testimony with my MOPS group three years ago.
Oh I have given God all the same excuses as Moses, but God spoke to me there in that prayer room and said, "Brandee, who made the human mouth? Who makes him [her] mute, or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, Yahweh? Now go! I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say" (Exodus 4:11-12 HCSB).
God had seen the misery of His people and He sent Moses. Moses did not want to accept the call at first because of His own insecurities. God has seen the hurts and pain so many women around me are living in and He is calling me. I have to let go of my insecurities and do what He is asking.
Am I jumping head first into this thing? No. Honestly I don't even know what this is going to look like. I know He has given me a message to share, one that stemmed from pain and healing in my own life and that has stemmed from seeing the pain of a very close friend. This message is one that needs to be shared, needs to be written and I know God has called me to work on this. The ins and outs, whens and wheres, only He knows. My part is to pray and seek Him for each next step along the way.
So many other "God-taps" happened that weekend:
- Meeting and connecting with an amazing group of women to share this journey with.
- Hearing how Karen Ehman started by speaking to MOPS groups (which is what I will be doing this December and have done several times before).
- Seeing the word SIMPLIFY- my word of 2011 beside my name in the prayer room.
- God rewriting my 5 minute talk the day before I was to give it and it being the message of my heart.
- Hearing Amy Carrol whisper to me as we were leaving, "You are gifted."
- Meeting some of the Proverbs 31 staff I had only talked to via Internet.
- Seeing Micca over the summer, we had met already this year in a weekly Bible study in TN.
I take my steps daily to lay down my staff as Moses did and trust God that He is "I AM."
I AM has called me to SIMPLIFY my life to do His will.
That is my life's purpose in whatever He places in my path.
Living Free,
Brandee
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